There are several reasons for reading a book, pleasure, business, the need to know or learn something, or because it helps the reader in some way (i.e. reading to children to keep them entertained). None of these methods are bad, and each in its own way can prove beneficial for the person depending on the ends they hope to achieve through the reading of that book. For example, a book in a fiction series is for pleasure, a means of escape for the reader, or a way to kill time till their next assignment in their daily tasks. In areas of business such as mine (children’s department at Barnes & Noble) I am able to combine two fields, pleasure in reading a good book, and getting to know the merchandise in order to better serve customer needs. Now and then, however, a book comes along that changes the reader makes them more than they were before, by adding to either their knowledge or skill set. Books that add to the knowledge of an individual are excellent, but a book that changes a persons whole way of thinking is something rare, since it takes the power of words to a level beyond mere understanding. Such was the case when I picked up the book “Thank You for Arguing." To put it simply, this is a book about the art of rhetoric. For those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to public speaking, and in particular, arguing. Thousands of years ago, rhetoric was an art form practiced by the wise and great men of the world, used to craft an argument and change their opponents mind. It was a skill without which no educated person would have wanted to be. Unfortunately, this is a skill no longer taught, outside of debate clubs, to the general public.
Today’s society believes that arguing is done on the points method, whoever scores the most points wins, and; therefore, the other person loses or is deemed “wrong." This assumption is wrong, for the main reason that according to this book, I learned that the purpose of arguing is to persuade the other person or persons that their idea or opinion is incorrect. What the author explains throughout this book is the power of a well crafted argument, and the difference between an argument and a fight. The process of winning someone to your way of thinking is not new, but the method of doing so as described in this book are. While the author never tries to reaffirm his reasons for making statements like “Ask yourself what you want at the end of an argument.” While not profound, this was a point that hit home with me, since I rarely, if ever, know what I want the result of an argument to be, I only want to win, and have the other person acknowledge my victory, no matter how small. How small a point, and yet how amazing, since from this point on, I almost never encountered an individual without first determining what I wanted the result of our communication to be, even if I was not going to start an “argument." By carefully crafting my reasons for talking with someone (offering assistance, getting to know them better, point out an error etc…) I was able to set guidelines in my mind that enabled me both control over the conversation and its outcome. By going into a situation where I know the argument is going to occur, I am able to prepare my defense or offense accordingly. I do not need to win an argument, since reading this book; my method has become more like persuasion.
Persuasion is a gentle pulling on a person’s resolve, like a sticker that has been on a hard surface too long; a determined pull in the right area will offer the puller the greatest success in removing the sticker. A judgmental or angry shouting match, on the other hand, will be equivalent to a hard tug on the sticker, causing it to tear and become even harder to remove. Hard words only cause the person being spoken to hang on to their resolve even more firmly. In conclusion, I believe that although rhetoric is no longer taught with the importance of math or literature, I believe that it is a skill vital for all individuals to master, and for those unfamiliar with the concept, or just interested in learning how to be more persuasive, this is most certainly the book for you.
Reference:
Heinrichs, J. (2007)Thank You For Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson can Teach us about the Art of Arguing. Random House Inc: New York
